THE SIN OF BREAKING FAMILY TIES
The importance to nurture and maintain a
family bond (Silatur-Rahim)
is indeed an extraordinary importance in Islam. To treat another with
politeness, kindness and to forgive and forget. It is our duty to be discharged
without an eye for reciprocity. To all, ESPECIALLY
family.
Islam highlighted the importance of family
and priorities their interest above others, with the basis of love and respect.
In a narration, Prophet Muhammad SAW
said that: “I command all the people of my followers (Umma), whether
present or not, and those generations which are to come till the Day of
Judgement (Qiyama), …, to maintain family kinship even if they live at a
distance of a year's journey.” (Shaykh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2,
p. 151.
In another narration,
Prophet SAW states that: “ The best person among you is the one who
treats his family members best. And I am the best among you to my family”
( Hadith Ibn Majah, On the
authority of Abdullah Ibn Abbas)
Islam paid a great deal of attention in
preserving family ties, to put one another first and commands us to do good to
each other. A sensible and well-balanced family is indeed the very foundation
of a happy life. These verses and narrations
about family kinship together with many other ones illustrate the importance of
this matter in Islam.
In the verses of the Qur'an explaining
the notion of dzawi'l-qurba (closest relatives). is: “And
if you (must) turn away from the needy awaiting mercy from your Lord which you
expect, then speak to them a gentle word”. (Q.S. 17: 28).
In another verse Allah the Almighty
says: “What
they should spend. Say, "Whatever you spend of good is (to be) for parents
and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do
of good - indeed, Allah is Knowing of it." (Q.S. 2: 215).
The Qur'an also gives high priority to close
family/relatives to receive attention (kindness) and prioritized its interests
more than others.
A wealthier Muslim is obliged to assist his
or her family/relatives, with priority given to the nearest in kin, and then in
order of nearness in relationship. A Muslim supports his brothers and relatives
in times of need and shares their concerns.
In the Glorious Qur'an we find the
saying of Allah the Almighty: "and fear Allah through whom
you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs
(kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you...” (Q.S. 4:
1).
Islam encourages a Muslim to be kind to the
family/ relatives even when they are unkind to them, and asks them to continue
their relations even when they cut them off. Boycotting relatives and family
members falls into the category of a major sin in Islam.
In this case Allah the Almighty says that forbids
the breaking of relationship in the Glorious Quran: "So what if you
are in power you will make mischief in the earth and break the kinship
relationship? They are the ones whom Allah cursed and hears them and blinded
their eyes. (Q.S. 47: 22-23).
The verse commands us to be cautious of Allah
the Almighty or to execute His command and to stay away from His prohibitions.
After that Allah the Almighty commands connect relationships and fulfill their
rights, and do not break the relationship. While nearly every religion has
emphasized good family relations, Islam has taken it to unprecedented heights.
It is a duty to be discharged without an eye for reciprocity. A Muslim is
required to be kind even to his non-Muslim relatives. Similarly he is required
to be kind to even those relatives who are harsh to him.
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him)
said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said: ‘Allah the Almighty created the universe, and when He had finished,
kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, “This is the standing up of one who seeks
Your protection from being cut off.” Allah the Almighty said,
“Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you
and cut off those who cut you off?” It said, “Of course.” Allah the Almighty
said, “Then your prayer in granted.” The Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah he Almighty be upon him) said, “Recite, if you wish (interpretation of
the meaning): ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do
mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah
has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.’ [Muhammad
47:22-23].” (Saheeh Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 16/112)
We benefit from the above great Hadith that
Allah the Almighty will take care of those who take care and
maintain the ties of kinship and we also learn that whoever cuts the ties of
kinship, Allah the Almighty will cut them off. Islam calls for the upholding of
the ties of kinship because of the great effect that this has on achieving
social cohesion and perpetuating cooperation and love among the Muslims.
It is reason for not entering Paradise;
the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No
person severs ties of kinship would enter Paradise.” [Reported by Muslim 2556]
The Prophet also explained the positive
impact on people who make a relationship:
Anas Ibn Malik reported:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever
is pleased to have his provision expanded and his life span extended,
then he should keep good relations with his family.” (Ṣaḥiḥ
al-Bukhari 1961, Ṣaḥiḥ Muslim 2557)
Maintaining family ties does to increase
provision nor entrant the life period as all these are predetermined. BUT it
will surely bring barakah and pleasure to Allah the Almighty. And a simple way
of achieving this is to treat family/relatives kindly, and go out of his way to
maintain relationship with them.
The Prophet (prayers and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: “The one who guides to something good has a reward
similar to that of its doer” [Reported by Muslim 1893].Whereupon his life
span becomes blessed because of the greatness of his reward when meeting Allah
the Almighty.
A rich man, if not willing to help the poor
who are not his family, then the anger of the poor is nothing compared to if
the poor is his own family.
In ancient times there was a poet who said:
"The deeds of persecution from
their own relatives are more painful to the heart than to the sharp sword”.
Islam encourages us to assemble a community
of compassion. Thusly, Islam has decided the most commendable individuals are
the family/relatives.
In the inheritance law, Islam has decided the
remaining parts of the dead as beneficiaries given to the kin, as indicated by
the request of closest beneficiaries to the dead.
Allah the Almighty says in the Al-Qurah Surah
4: 7: "For men there is a right of the inheritance of the
father's mother and his relatives, and to the woman there is a right of the
inheritance of her father's and her relatives, whether little or much according
to the appointed portion".
Ali bin Abi Talhah
reported that Ibn `Abbas said that this part of the Ayat, "Refers to a man
who is near death and he dictates a will and testament that harms some of the
rightful inheritors. Allah commands whoever hears such will to fear Allah, and
direct the dying man to do what is right and to be fair, being as eager to
protect the inheritors of the dying man as he would be with his own.'' Similar
was reported from Mujahid and several others. The Two Sahihs record that when
the Messenger of Allah visited Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas during an illness he
suffered from, Sa`d said to the Messenger, "O Messenger of Allah! I am
wealthy and have no inheritors except a daughter. Should I give two-thirds of
my property in charity'' He said, "No.'' Sa`d asked, "Half'' He said,
"No.'' Sa`d said, "One-third'' The Prophet said; One-third, and even
one-third is too much.) The Messenger of Allah then said: You'd better leave
your inheritors wealthy rather than leaving them poor, begging from others.
(Hadith: Al-Tabarani:
8:19/21)
Furthermore, as solid confirmation that Islam
is worried about the issue of connection is, Islam requires the individuals who
can bear to accommodate or provide for the poor of their family/relatives, the
youngsters, the grandchildren: father or granddad and so forth.
The majority of Muslims ignored this right,
as they did with different rights. Which lead to hatred rather than love and
kindness between the family and the siblings in Islam.
Cutting family ties is a disease in
the heart
In addition to explaining the virtue of
shilaturrahim, so too the Messenger of Allah
threatened the one who broke his relatives with his word:
“No person severs ties of kinship
would enter Paradise.” (Hadith: Muslim 2556)
It is narrated on the authority of Abu
Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man came to the Messenger of
Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: “I have relatives with
whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat
them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards
me.” Upon this he (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “if it is so
as you say, then you in fact shove hot sand in their mouth’s (upon their faces)
and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support
you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path
of uniting kinship ties).” (Hadith Muslim 2558)
What punishment
could be worse than the curse and the evil home that awaits those who sever the
ties of kinship?
Those who cut the ties of kinship deny
themselves the reward for upholding the ties of kinship in the Hereafter, in
addition to denying themselves much good in this world, which is a long life
and ample provision (as we mentioned in a previous Hadith): that the Messenger
of Allah said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be
increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
Hence; o servants of Allah, o you who have
believed in Allah and His Messenger, consider your relations with your
family/relatives!
Did you observe uniting their ties of
kinship, which is obligatory upon you?
Did you treat them with leniency? Did
you meet them with happy face?
Did you open your chests at meeting
them?
Did you present to them the love,
appreciation and respect that they deserve?
Did you visit them during their being
well, for having cordiality? Did you visit them during their illness, because
of care and being interested in them?
Did you present to them what they need
from money and other things?
Dear beloved brothers and sisters, let’s make
doa’ from Allah the Almighty to protect us from all evil, to upholds our family
ties, to love and most of all to spread peace.
May Allah the Almighty make us strong when
someone is behaving unjustly and find peace in the truth of the situation and
that Allah the Almighty is enough as a witness?
To the very core I pray that Allah the
Almighty will fill our heart with love to one another, strengthen the family
bond and see sincerity in one another and become a family again.
When a man asked Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
about how to treat a relative who had harmed and insulted him, the Prophet
(PBUH) answered: “Resume your relationship with the one who has broken
family bonds with you, grant the one who has deprived you and forgive the
one who has harmed you. Whenever you do so, God will protect you
against them”. (Shaikh al-Kulayni, “Al-Kafi”, vol. 2, p. 150).
And Allah knows best!
-HUSZAINI-
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